Dreaming of Community

I’ve discovered I read some favourite authors (Maeve Binchey, Marcia Willet, Katie Fforde ) because of the dream of community that’s often a part of the story. Learning how a character moves from outsider, dispossessed of her old identity through circumstance or choice, and forms a new community, is a tale that never grows old. The community is the context for all the action. I feel silly even mentioning it in a way. Goodness it’s always there, that tension between the individual and the community, the dilemma of being in or out, the challenge of being accepted or winning membership.

How could I have missed this theme?

North American culture emphasizes the individual and individual relationships. The novels often have an element of romance. Family stories are sagas, or comedies, or tragedies with an individual at the centre. Shifting my focus to the community, I see the stories differently; learn new things.

In Vancouver, where I live, recent research revealed that many people in the city feel lonely and disconnected, and yearn for a greater sense of community. We have many immigrants who are far from family, are from across the world or across the country, drawn to the city from another way of life; sometimes people are disconnected from their family for other reasons.

On Monday and Tuesday night this week PBS broadcast Half the Sky: Turning Oppression Into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. The stories from the film are different from the tales told in women’s fiction or Vancouver newspaper articles on urban angst, yet they are about dreams shared by the characters in the books and Vancouverites: a woman’s desire for a better life for herself and her children, freedom from emotional and physical abuse, access to education, and a way to earn a living with dignity that will allow her to build a better life and a safe place to belong. The stories of these women are also about the dream of community. The women who take action in the film are able to build community.

Our idea of community, and how to build and maintain a community comes from our dream of it, our yearning for it, as much as it comes from experience.

In 2008 Peter Block wrote Community: The Structure of Belonging.

“Community offers the promise of belonging and calls for us to acknowledge our interdependence. To belong is to act as an investor, owner, and creator of this place. To be welcome, even if we are strangers. As if we came to this place and are affirmed for that choice.”

He emphasizes the need for us all to take up this work, to move from longing to acting, and offers information on building local context and operating guidelines. One of the powerful questions he asks is

“What declaration of possibility can you make that has the power to transform the community and inspire you?

Join the conversation: Do you dream of community? How would you answer Peter Block’s question? What are the characteristics of the community you long for? Share a description of community that inspires you.

 

Exploring Values

 

About three years ago when I started consulting and did a website, I finally got around to declaring my own values: Learning, Kindness, Beauty and Integrity. Before then I’d been immersed in my company’s values. I thought I knew what I meant by integrity, but after awhile I felt what I meant was authenticity, which seemed to include integrity. Then I struggled a bit with understanding “authenticity”. What did it mean when I said I wanted to be authentic?

Authentic: being honest (having integrity), being transparent, not posing or pretending to be something I am not.

I worked on raising my awareness of how authentic my responses were.

As a girl I pretended to be something besides myself a lot: a princess, a pirate, a wagon train scout, star-ship empath, Sheena of the Jungle, a detective, and that’s only a partial list. After trying all the roles on offer from TV, movies and books, when I went to college I switched to imagining myself in a professional role: writer, journalist, teacher, actor, director, shopkeeper, professor. I have an active imagination.

Inside, Outside

Still, it took me a long time to find myself in a career. Once some kind of work was there and money was coming in, I discovered there was often a gap between how my family, my friends and colleagues saw me, and how I felt inside.

I first framed the challenge as being able to be the same person in every role, but that didn’t work because it wasn’t realistic. I wasn’t exactly the same person in each role with only the activity changing. Different activities brought out different aspects, and this seemed appropriate.

When I learned to meditate, authenticity became, just sitting, just breathing, just being aware. This definition created congruence between my feelings and awareness, but didn’t help me much when I wasn’t on my cushion, at least at first.

When I put something on my values list it means I want to cultivate it, understand it better, and I want to see it reflected in my work.

So when I put authenticity on the list it meant that when I talked with you I wanted to be with you, listening to what you were saying at that moment. I wanted to be able to own my feelings and claim them. I wanted to be willing to disclose them, to be more transparent, so you would have the chance to get to know me.

Increasing awareness brings a deeper dive

As I investigated when I was being authentic and when I wasn’t, I realized that even more than being authentic I wanted to cultivate Presence.

Presence means being able to bring all of myself to the present moment and being able to respond as needed.

That’s why this year I changed one of my four core values from integrity to presence. Presence, as it develops, has a definite energy field. You can’t have presence without authenticity; sometimes you can be authentic without presence. Presence is what I am exploring now.

Increasing my awareness of presence has drawn the value of community back into my list as a new appreciation of inter-dependency has grown.

Join the conversation: How would you define integrity, authenticity, presence, and community? What happens when you explore how your values play out in your life? Any tips for exploring values?

 

Beginning

I am the kind of person that likes to share my discoveries with someone (the sort that reads good bits from the book she’s reading aloud).

For years I was a member of a management team, and got used to being able to chat for a minute or two during a break, or coming back from making copies.

Now I work as an independent consultant so there are no colleagues down the hall, and the break concept doesn’t really translate. You could say the inspiration for this blog was the need for a virtual break room to share news and ideas, ask questions and just find out what’s going on.

Welcome. I hope you find your visit refreshing.